Monday, February 1, 2010

My unhappiness

Why is tis my life i cant be happy my life is with hurting sad crying life i need the most caring person just to be myside when i need the person when i feel lonely.. my heart is hurting and bleeding can i be happy who can be the one who alway beside me i feel like tis is not my life which is my life my life is in a mess i want a happy no tear no sad jus onli want happy he is no longer beside me i tot i found a guy who cares and dote me but why it took it away from me so fast..My life is terrible sad my life has no happy no joy i don seem any happiness in my life onli sad sad sadness.. I don wan to cry anymore Y i have to contiune with my life Y have to bring me to tis life i hate myself so much i realli hate my life Y i have to bear so much pain


My life is in a dark i don see sunlight brighten my day my tear has dry my heart is arching i lost the motive of my life i am very tired and i don have the ENERGY to hang on anymore i wish i can let go of my hand my heart is bleeding wat can i do

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

SomeOne who I recertlY fancY Onnnnn....

I not sure when i started fancy him le maybe saw him a few time on tv baaaaa???

he is a chef who have been going to oversea for competition been working before at

The Oriental Singapore

The cannery Singapore

Nw @

Atlantic Dining Room

altot i cant say out Juz to keep it to myself and is satisfy aready and happY

Juz that hope when nxt time when i at outside can see him..

Juz that if realli noe who am i mentioning pls keep it to ur heart....

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Further to mY Studies

I have been study for year from the beginning primarY school , secondary, ItE, Diploma in hospitality hotel management and now will be processing to degree soon as what i wanted is to get everything smoothly and why i cant understand why they have to stop me on futhering my studies for i aready very hard working le if can i hope don stop me frm doing my things ....okie

SaD story

I have been to tired le altot my body is not tired but my heart is very tired i been thinking if i never born in tis world is it better for me???
I need the person beside me and if can i really wish he can lent his shoulder to me lent his ear and comfort me. I have been waiting for him to appear but no result shows altot i do have boyfriend before they are just playing and would not treasure me..

I really wanted a guy which noe what mind is thinking what i wan and when i feeling moody he noe how to solve my problem but in tis kind of life is impossible to find tis type of guys le..
If i can i realli wanna to leave this year as wat my doctors has say my life will end around 60

I have an unhappy family living with them is so tired i realli realli wanted to leave singapore going to other country to renew my life getting away all my pain and tiredness i don have anymore feeling my heart has non longer around my heart has been crushed long time ago

i wanted to restart all over again I don wish to cry i am tired of it le


Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Most happy day in 07-03-09

on sat i wake up at 10.30am rushing to bath and rushing out to city hall to meet my frenz becos we going to marina bay platform for e-awardto support our ENERGY we reach there @ 11.30 we saw alot of people Q so I went to look for mY fans club frenz as on the same time i get to make a few of the new frenz frm the club and we went to marina square for starbucks and it start to rain so we went to john little to get 1 extr umbella so we went back to marina bay and @ 5 we start to go in to get in for the seating and alot of people is arrivaling in the same time sky is getting darken and after the rain stop rainbow came out and the event is starting soon and my fans club leader came a well later she came to inform me that she cant get the ticket for me from e k-box so she say she will check again when we arrival to cineleisure so as so i was so scare i try to get all k box outlet is that still have any k box ticket so i can get it as if it has finish in all outlet so after that i was waiting for them to call me back so i was waiting but the calls was not back so i have to pray that will have ticket for me so when energy was out from the award they won 2 prizer and its was a very good present for them in tis year and some more is a good thing is kunda brday too..After they left the stage we start to move off we are going for another last event in k box for ENERGY YEAH Party so we reach there all of us reach there and went to toilet to get change put on make up and go for Q as when loo jean came to told me that the ticket is really sold out i was so disappointed so in the end i saw Joseph i went to ask him is he able allow to let me in he never say anything 1 words he say okie and i was so happy we start to get in 1 by 1 in the mean while we were waiting and we went to toilet break and go around taking pic and chatting around with frenz that long time no see..

As the time is getting late event is still no started and we wait and the events is starting @ 12am and we were so happy Su wei, kunda, ah di and xiao kang is so happy they still remember us wat we wear on the e- award as we start to play game and on the same time we saw ah di went out to get brday cake for kunda becos is his brday and kunda receive a watch tat seem like very expensive and as well all four of them oso have it and last finally we wanted them to sing song as they sing 2 song 1 is eason chen ten year and the last song is from 张学友 - 她来听我的演唱会 and it end so after that we book a maxi cab we went to chase them and we went to zouk they was there for drinking and there is alot of people inside like show and JJ after that we went to their hotel @ marina mandrin hotel to wait for them and around 5+ they came back we were so happy and we wait for them and went to airport to sent them off @ 6.30 we reach airport and on the way to airport we were beside them in the maxi cab we saw them sleeping and when we reachairport we wait for them outside when they get down from the car i was so exited as su wei saw me say good morning to him and follw on ah di xiao kang and kunda and they looks very tired as we were walking very close to them we sent them to departure hall and we rush up to he viewer hall to look in to the derpature place ah di and su wei sow on top and waives to us good bye we were so sad and wanted to go off with them to taiwan we will be waiting for them to come back to singapore and go and chase them and whatever places they go..

Miss them sooooooooooooooooooooo much....... Luv ENERGY

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Born and being in tis family is so tired and heart pain staying in the family is so tired tired tired mum is so good to my brother and he wans anything mum should will get the things for him wherever he wans i totally diffrents i wans the things i needs and when she boughts the things for me yest in the future i when i go out to work and earn money i have to return back the money to her

it is fair????? tis is alway being store in my mind for the future.. Being in tis family i have to bear with the pain when in the dark nite when being alone my tears was non stop yet nobody noes my pain i realli wish to have someone who loves me with his heart whenever i needs him he will be at my side comfort me laying on his shoulder tis is wat i alway wanted..

i trying my best to earn more money and i wish i start working earning enough i will get myself a house so i can move out of the house and i can do the things that i like..

I alway wanted a house and decord the hse on my own style..
Too Much thinds has been happen for the past 2 Yrs, working, Familys and relationship

On 2007 june stepping into K box to work as a training servant in the nite shift everyday ending work @ 3am reach home around 4.30am is a very tired day for me becos i have to wake up everyday at 7am to bath and to start to go sch. I have to work and study at the same time. 1 week i only have 1 day off only the day i off i can reach home after sch i can get rest Working @ k box cineleisure lvl 8 is a very tired job and is very busy on weeksend and in special nites..

i start to lose alot of weight and everyday i got not enough slp i onli have 2 hrs to slp for almost everyday and in the work place i make alots of frenzs but some of them might be too proud of themselves.. They don'y like the person they will talk at their back tis is the most things that i hate..

When the first time starting to drinks alcahol is when i enter to lvl 8 my collegue arrange a drinking session on a tuesday that all of us who work at nite and end work # 3am we went over to orchard plaza the disco pub name is: 97 that is the first time i drink martell n i get drunk after a few glass and i started to get along with the rest of the people that i just knew..

On tat nite i met a guy who work in the same company but diffrent department tat time we dun noe each other we nv have any intro but yet he get a glass of alchol to toast me and we started to have fun dancing drinking and play cards and we have alot of fun on tat day i won't nv forget the day

The story begin on the following weeks
i have no been seeing him for past weeks till a day at nite around 8-9pm i went in to the bar to get water when the moment i wanna to step out of the bar i saw him and a few guys walk in to the bar and he still remember me and he say hi to me and i start to chat with him awhile and i walk back to my working zone.. After few weeks we met again yet tis is the second time we met and is still a non busy day and he came in frm the back-doors whr the staff entry we was pushing a trolley with boxes and a plastic bag with sugar and that time i still whether is he a delivery man?? from the day on i have been thinking of him wanna to get to noe him more and wan to get his number.. and my other collegue been started to noe that i fond on him on they say him they will come to inform me and i try my best to walk over to see him if i have the time that time not many of them noe that i likes him.. so the following week i have been seeing him come and that time i finally know that he is our company KJ whose will do the maintence when the rooms system or tv as breakdown..

As far as i been working in k box for 6 month and still have no chance to get his number when on a day we having meeting and i got information that we will be having staff party on the oct and i fell that is that a chance that i can see him on that day.. And being of my 2 collegue robin and kim they knew me well they r my best buddy in lvl 8 they say they will help so they never forget their word they gaven me so on the oct staff party has reach and i aready knoew that he will be coming and that day is my off day and i have to go back to outlet @ 3am to help them to set up and staff party tat morning i have a flight in 7am to hk as the time is going nearer yet i heaver get his number so as i have to leave outlet at 5am to get over to airport to meet my family as kim noes that i have to leave so after a while she went straight over to him and get his number and i was so happy and i lefted without letting him noes.. when over hk i have been thinking of him and think wat to buy for him.. Finally i get a hardRock cafe t-shirt for him and is the same as mine..

On the day i came back from the trip and have to return to work on the following day they been asking me wat have i bought for him and ask me have i call or msg him and my ans is nope
they ask me to msg him and tell him i am back and have present for him and i realli did it and have inform him when i have end work
and he asked mi why i never tell him that i going to hk and i ask him hw you noe he say that my outlet ppl told him i went overseas and he is so surprising that i bought him a gift and he mention when he is free he will go down to collect.. Weeks and he finally came down lucky i have been keeping his gift in my bag in cause one of the day he will come down and he has receive the shirt and he so happy and ( asking me a very funny Q is the shirt cheap) how can the hardrock t-shirt can be cheap.. he likes the design that i choice for him..

past month have no been seeing him to our outlet msg him he say he has been very busy and hardly got time to come down and see me and i told him i been missing him badly and he was so touch and we started to become frenzs that everyday will msg each other like couple..

In the end i have choice but to worte letter to him after writing to him and i have no idea how to pass it to him no chance to see him and i onli can do is to ask rats (louis superior) to pass it to him and he refer to help me and i onli can find another superior to help me le and he is willing to help ,e and i was so happy i have hope le..
In fact i realli hope that he can accept me and noes that how much i love him and i have hard time everyday been thinking of him missing him thinking when will he be coming to lvl 8

after a couple months a new staff come and i just noe her she is a new training receiption and after along time both of us as become good frenz we share alot of things and we oso been talking abt kane and her bf tonymy anothergood frenz.. we share alot and she know that hw much i miss him..

One day Tony meet them out for suppurt he know them for long time le.. when they meet tony has been talking of me infront of him how well work and wat am i study and so on when lilian told tony that i study engneering course in aerospace he went to tell him he was so surprising and cant believable abt me.. i am so surprise that lilian will come and tell me wherever wat they told him abt me..

and we have nothing new in the further times seem like our game is finish soon as after i been knowing him for kong time and i will still thinking of him missing him and all my colleague has noe not just only lvl 9 ppl noes all loutlet and head office ppl also knew it.. it amazing
working in k box aready been 2 yrs..

alot of things has happen superior being change a person that is new to me as my suprior is a person which making diffcult on me dislikes me never trust me on the work seem to looking down n me just noe hw to drinks looking for pretty gals.. As i been enough of him and start to thinking of wat am i suppose to so and in the end i started to think of resign and finally i tented my resign letter on 26 july and my last day on 26 aug 09 and my final last week my best buddy servant kent has told me something on kane and is a very upset matters on the past few months wat i have been sending to him and he has been giving everyone that he noes to see wat have i been sending to him..

From the day on i told myself i wont never haver forgive him and wat matter he does is oso no my busineess..